Now that I’ve had first hand experience of a deathbed promise, I think it’s a cruel imposition on the living.
I made promises that I now find difficult to fulfill. Sometimes you want to but circumstances prevent you.
My mom wanted me to assure her that I would protect an aunt’s possession from the infighting of her children. Though I know I am objective enough and have the discernment to do so – I don’t think I will be able to. I am not my mom. I do not have her authority. She was an aunt to my cousins. When she talked, my cousins listened. I am these cousins’ level and younger than they all are. Who am I to make decisions for their mom?
I am not stupid enough to proceed knowing the circumstances. I know I will not be an effective mediator for this relative’s problem. What was I thinking promising my mom? That is the problem- when death is near, one rarely thinks.
But I made a promise. In whatever way I can, I will but to the extent that my mom wanted me to do when she is gone – I simply am unable to do.
When I am on my deathbed and if i have the opportunity, I will not hold my husband nor my children to any promises. That would be cruel to them. I have lived my life. They will live theirs. I have no right to impose upon them after I have left this earth.