More Polymering

Well, they made it official.  What the board was threatening to do earlier this year, they finally did yesterday.  They elected me chairman of this non profit local organization.  I told them that I would just be the transitional chairman until they found a more competent one.

I’m not afraid of the work.  I’m not even afraid of facing the media.  What worries me is having to deal with politicians and people in government.

I need to do my homework and get to know the local government.  I need to be palsy walsy with them, we do need their support.  It’s just that I don’t know why people in government are so thin skinned.  I have dealt with people in power in business, and there is a semblance of honesty there.  You can say what you really think, of course couched in tactful words and gestures, and you know that the other party might feel bad at the start but you know that the deal will push through if the fundamentals are sound and reasonable.  What the person in charge thinks will not be that big a deal-breaker.

But with politicians, they seem to be more prone to vendettas and personal whims. 

Well anyway, I will know soon enough when we do our courtesy calls in the coming months.  I hope my impressions of politicians are wrong.

If not for that fact that I have to be a polymer, the position is not a cause for worry at all.  I think my ignorance here of the polymer world of politics is what’s keeping me buoyed and optimistic at the moment.

God, give me strength to cope with this new challenge.

This is the link to a previous post that I wrote when I had to deal with people in government:

https://ballerina95.wordpress.com/2013/02/13/polymering/

Horny

I heard this really stupid song over the radio this afternoon.  Four words over and over and over again.

I’m so horny, horny horny horny.  So so horny, horny horny horny – tonight.  And again and again …  Geez.  So irritating.

Is this song even selling?

 

 

New Name

Today I finally took my husband’s name.  

1 point for the Philippine bureaucracy.  0 for the feminist movement.

When I was a newlywed, it was my intention to take the husband’s name but keep my signature.  The first agency I applied to for the change was the SS.  They insisted I had to change my signature, one that would show my new surname.  Well, I had grown to love my signature.  Heck it took me several years before I settled on one I like and I wasn’t about to change it.  So, screw the name change.  Retain maiden name it was.

It was great to be acknowledged for me, as myself in the name I grew up with.

After a few years, I decided to compromise by hyphenating O’s name with mine.  It is allowed in my country and is listed in the Civil Code as an acceptable name change for a married woman.

It seems the Land Transportation Office, the agency that issues the driver’s licenses still lives in the dark ages.  They told me it had to be either my surname or the husband’s.  No in-betweens.  No hyphens.  I asked our lawyer.  He said that my request was legal and that they should honor it.  Then file the proper legal complaint – the agency replies.  

It wasn’t worth the hassle.  So I continued using my maiden name.

2 more years later, it just dawned on me that what does it matter if I take O’s name or not?  I am still me.  I no longer care that any accolade I receive is credited to him and not to my father.  People change.

And so today I applied for a name change.  No hassle at all.  I was done in 30 minutes.  As long as you follow their rules (not necessarily the correct rules), everything is a breeze.  

At least they were modern enough to accept that one’s signature does not necessarily have to reflect one’s last name.  I got to keep my signature.

So now I’m no longer a Ms.  Here’s to the new Mrs.  

Pen to Paper

Image

I love writing.  I love stationeries, the parchment-ish kind like Crane.  So put them both together, I grab every occasion to write on my stationeries.  Thank you notes, Excuse letters, How are you feeling notes to good friends – too few!

Today i wrote a note to eldest son’s teacher.  Finally, I thought to myself, another occasion to write.  I got out my Lamy and my Peter Pauper note cards.  5 more cards left.  I smiled.  I can buy another set.  I’m the sort who can’t buy when I still have lots on stock.  

I recently bought a Kaweco pen, I forgot to use it just now.  I have to take it out so I can test how it writes.  

Can’t wait for the next opportunity to write.  

my photos can be viewed at: http://www.humanlinephotos.wordpress.com

Quiet Time at Work

Lots of free time this afternoon.  I finally caught up with all the paperwork and emails.  So I did some mindless stuff like visit FB.  WordPress on the other hand is not mindless.  Writing actually clears my mind.

And so I put on my thinking cap.  This is one of my favourite time.  My father always said that when you have no more time to think at work, then it’s time to hire additional hands. 

It’s rare I find a person who thinks.  Most just do the job assigned to them.  I guess thinking is a luxury.  Thinking involves time.  My friend Win always complains that he has so many free time, he feels like he’s lazy.  But I tell him that his free time is what allows him to innovate and think up of new businesses or how to improve his existing businesses.

There is one area that I should give my attention to but have kept on postponing.  I guess now that I have free time, I no longer have an excuse.  I must face my responsibilities in the family corporation that I head. 

I don’t really like it there.  Too many structures and bureaucracy.  But I must.  I have to justify the allowance they give me.  Sometimes I just want to dismantle everything and do whatever I want – but then that would make me a dictator and a bully.  And so I have to keep up pretenses and be all democratic and try to work with the management at the same time making the stockholders happy.  I really don’t like that.  I like it better when I answer only to myself – I bet most everyone wants that.   

Sigh.  But I must.  Let’s go tackle this.

Penfriends – Actual Words Not Just Liking

Last night I found my penfriend from Brazil; after 2 years of searching for her through the internet.  She is married now and she was using her married name.  I was so happy to reconnect with her.  And I have facebook to thank.  FB isn’t so bad, with its new search feature.  I do keep an fb account for the sole purpose of connecting with friends.  Some friends find it more convenient to send messages through fb rather than send an email.  But I do not update my status at fb; no birthplace, no work, no family, and no selfies.

She is the last of the penfriends from way back high school that I haven’t personally met yet.  And I am happy that all of them turned out well.

I love to write and those days when I put pen to paper, maybe include photos or some small memento then seal the envelope – those days were wonderful.  I can remember the excitement of finding an envelope from far away, with strange stamps and notes and smell.

I was active at fb at the start.  When people would still take time to comment.  But nowadays, the Like feature has replaced most meaningful communications.  I rarely click the Like button, preferring to actually write something.  Liking seems so impersonal.

I like the exchange of ideas, of actually communicating with a person, of getting a response.  Liking just seems more to let the person know you stopped by her post.  You’re not even sure if they actually read it.  Did they actually like it or did they just want to say “I’m still alive and I hear you”. 

Finding Ana last night brought back very fond memories of writing.  I was happy last night.  A feeling that comes lesser as I grow older.  But at least a feeling that still comes.

my photo album can be viewed at: http://www.humanlinephotos.wordpress.com

No Right No Wrong

I thought of my father today.  More than twenty years after his death, his advice still rings true.  I remember what he said to me when I was asking his opinion on a case study for my MBA.  He said there are no right or wrong decisions.  The only decisions that matter are those you are willing to support and defend. When you stand by the consequences of your decisions or actions then that makes it right.

My father had no college degree but that advice has stayed with me until now.  It has even crossed over to other facets of my life.

I do not believe in a right or wrong, to the consternation of O.  I am one of those who try not to label actions as “good” or “bad”.  Though raised a Catholic, I am liberal in my views.  This thinker believes that there is no absolute truth, that everything is relative.  Most everything is grey for me.

The irony is that O, who is agnostic, is more strict in his concepts of good and bad, those widely accepted classifications.  He doesn’t like it when I am off in one of my thinking moods.  I rationalize things.  I question everything.  When you start asking, you are bound to be dissatisfied with generally accepted ideas.

I do know my limitations though and I try not to rock the boat overly.  But deep down, I take to heart this relativity thing.  

There is no right or wrong for me.  Only how strongly or how far will I be able to defend my actions is what makes it right or wrong.

My photos can be viewed at http://www.humanlinephotos.wordpress.com

Love Is

To remind myself every so often:

From Anne Morrow Lindbergh – “Gift From the Sea” 

When you love someone, you do not love them all the time, in exactly the same way, from moment to moment.  It is an impossibility.  It is even a lie to pretend to.  And yet this is exactly what most of us demand.  We have so little faith in the ebb and flow of life, of love, of relationships.  We leap at the flow of the tide and resist in terror its ebb.  We are afraid it will never return.  We insist on permanency, on duration, on continuity; when the only continuity possible, in life as in love, is in growth, in fluidity – in freedom.  The only real security is not in owning or possessing, not in demanding or expecting, not in hoping, even.  Security in a relationship lies neither in looking back to what it was in nostalgia nor forward to what it might be in dread or anticipation but living in the present relationship and accepting it as it is now.

 

Not Interested

I was in the bookstore when a young lady approached me and introduced herself.  I thought she was from the bookstore and was conducting a survey.  

Nope, she was from UNICEF.  Was I familiar with the organization, she asks?  Yes, I replied.  What was left unsaid was that I was not a fan of UNICEF’s methods.  Why would I help people in Africa when people in my backyard also need helping? 

Anyway, she went on for about 2 minutes about UNICEF.  At that instant I was still willing to give her my time, and listen to what she had to say.  At that instant I was still open to entertaining her. And then she asked for my name.

I don’t know why I reacted the way I did.  But a door immediately closed in my brain.  I value my privacy and I am still from a culture that does not encourage too much familiarity with strangers.  I am very stingy with my personal information.

She repeated her question; May I know your name ma’am?  all the time extending her hand. No you may not, I told her.  Then added – I would rather not have this conversation with you.  While smiling of course.

She was obviously not prepared for my reply.  She was flustered for a bit, a few seconds and then… and then she continued on with her spiel as if I she hadn’t heard me.  I interrupted her.  I told her, I’m sorry I am not interested in what you have to say.  And turned my back.  That stopped her.

That’s one reply they should put in their response manual for the other agents to familiarize with.  They never know when they’ll encounter an ornery person like me.

My photos can be viewed at: http://www.humanlinephotos.wordpress.com

Crisis Over

My mid-life crisis has definitely passed.  

There used to be this something inside of me that wanted more out of what was usual; that chafed at the restrictions of society; that wanted to explore new ideas.  I am one of those who stay in the fold.  I have none of the rebellious streak that mark a trendsetter or someone who makes a mark in society.  i am part of the collective who makes society strong.

I still get in a funk, a sort of ennui when I am not quite all there.  Like last night.  I was bored.  But instead of stressing over it like in previous years, I decided to just read a book.

Romance? Psychology? Philosophy? Humor?  I decided on Time Traveller’s Wife.  It’s been almost 3 yrs since I last read it.  It is still good.  The first time I didn’t like the fact that there was a death.  This time around, it wasn’t so bad.  I focused on the time they had together.  Yes, it didn’t seem so tragic anymore.

I’ve changed.  My views have changed.  I hope for the better.

My photos can be viewed at : http://www.humanlinephotos.wordpress.com