Tomorrow I will sleep in and wake up when I wake up. No alarm clock. I will laze in bed after I wake up. Tomorrow I will get a foot massage and maybe read a book when I get home.
I am glad the week is over. 8 meetings! So far, nothing has been planned for next week. That would be good. That would give me time to work.
I am never one to like meetings especially when it involves eating. I’d rather just meet to talk about what needs discussing – straight to the point. But I understand one needs to socialize and to feed the meeting participants. It takes an effort to be amiable. But I guess I will have to get used to it. I need to socialize.
I wish I could just work and not have to deal with the niceties though.
A very talented artist/photographer came by the office this afternoon. I love his photos and I love how he frames his subjects and captures moods so effectively. He took our wedding photos as well as several of our family photos through the years.
He was pitching a new project of his. Portraits using acrylic on canvas with a very realistic look – I don’t exactly know what he means since he didn’t show me a sample. A secret he says so that it won’t be copied. He wanted to do my and O’s portraits. Purchase only if we like it. Talented as I know he is, confident I would like it, I thought about his proposal and had to decline.
I was never big on having photos of myself, much less paintings of myself hung on walls- not even in our home. There are several snapshots of our family in small frames displayed all over our home, but hung on walls? None.
Some people have oil paintings of themselves in their finery and dripping with jewels, it holds no appeal for me. Save if I were a famous public persona where I would have no say about such posterity, such self adulation does not appeal to me.
So sorry, I was not interested. I appreciate beauty and talent but I have no desire to buy or possess this specific kind of beauty.
The older generation got it right when they say never complain when you have a good thing going.
I was bored last week. And what do you know, fate dumps a deluge on my lap. 5 appointments/meetings in 3 cities – all in a span of 5 days. I’m not complaining. At least, I’m not bored.
Variety, I like that. A few more weeks of similar workload and I’ll be craving for boredom again.
I used to admire principled persons when I was younger. But now, I don’t. I find such very principled people quite intolerant and difficult to deal with.
I find I am happiest when dealing with people who have principles but are willing to compromise if the situation calls for it or if the principle in question stands on shaky ground.
Today I read this reply from a columnist in a local paper. I like how he encapsulated what I feel. I am quoting him here.
“… see if your values and principles are more important than the people you are close to. It is okay to have principles, but if you impose them on others, then you are now choosing between people and principles. If you do this and you choose to stay with your principles then chances are you will lose the people around you.”
Eppy Gochangco, Philippine Star
I joined a fun run early this morning. 3k. The first time since more than 25 years ago in high school.
That was also a 3k run, I remember. And I remember I came in second and that I was able to run all the way.
This time around I couldn’t sustain the run. Ran about 500m then walked a 100 or so, then another 400m then walked another 100m. And the interval between running and walking just kept getting shorter and shorter. Totally so not in shape. Took me 30minutes to finish the 3k. But at least I was somewhere in the middle and not among the stragglers.
I was so red and hot immediately after. And right now my calves and back are sore. After I woke up from several naps throughout the day, I feel better now. In fact I feel so firm. haha. Just a state of mind.
I used to dream of running a marathon. Now, its no longer something I yearn for. Scratch that dream out.
I’ve been very behaved the past few months. Behaved as in behaving how society expects a woman to behave.
It is getting to be kind of boring.
But it really is true that once you get into a routine, it will take a major effort to change course. And I am past that stage. I am just too lazy to tweak the norms. I am too settled to bother.
Because in reality, it isn’t so bad. So yes, life is even and mostly smooth and kind of boring.
Even the fact that two managerial positions opening up suddenly this week, one due to death and the other due to an unexpected offer of a relative for a better opportunity, didn’t faze me much. The problems presented were welcome diversions to a life running quite well.
Yeah, some people might think me crazy or stupid to welcome problems. But they do make life interesting. And it forces me to think and be creative.
The Chinese have this curse “may you live in interesting times”, believing that a good life is that which runs smoothly. But I rather like the interesting life with all the drama and the problems. It challenges me.
I will soon find stuff to occupy me. It’s just a matter of adjustment. So I am going to make the most of this boring phase because it won’t last long.
Last year a probationary employee from the head office had an unexplained pain in her kidneys. She died after a few weeks. And then our Logistics Head was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last December. She passed away 2 months ago when her platelets dropped too low after the 7th round of chemotherapy. Last week a branch manager had a fatal heart attack in a different city.
What is this? Did we disturb some bad spirits? Or is this just statistically normal given that our employee population had grown considerably in the last 3 years?
I don’t know.
Maybe it’s like resignations. Ten years ago we had like maybe one resignation a year, sometimes none. Then 5 years ago it started to be like every quarter someone left the company. Now it averages out to one a month. Then again, ten years ago there were just 3 branches to deal with. Now it’s almost 10 times that. I’ve gotten used to it. As long as they give notice, not such a big deal anymore. Most give reasons of going to another country for better job opportunities. A few women relocate due to marriage. Even fewer are those who jump ship to other local companies. It isn’t so bad once I get to see the reason for the resignations.
So I hope these recent deaths are simply because we are dealing with more people now and from a broader spectrum of the community.
I hope so.
We stayed the night at a simple resort, midway through our 590km ride last weekend. We were the only guests as it was off season plus a typhoon was approaching. It was a miracle that we only experienced slight drizzling the first day and the rains caught up with us on the second day after the mountain pass, at least on flat concrete roads towards the end of the road trip.
The sands were not white, it was greyish brown, but it was peaceful and smooth and I slept for almost 10hours. A good night’s sleep. We were traveling light and so I was a bit short on the appropriate clothing and footwear. It was windy and cold – so, voila.
Kind of funny, but who cares. I was comfy.
Always a rider…
Benj skidded on a muddy road and fell down on his left. His windshield and turn signal were broken. And one of the first things he said when his companions came over to help – “Its a good thing I got comprehensive insurance on my bike.”
And I remember after i stopped rolling after being thrown off our motorcycle; and I was just wearing unpadded jeans and fashion boots – the first thing that went through my mind “I need to buy real padded riding pants and boots.”
Bumpy, on his Harley as his water bottle flew off and he jarred his head hard when he hit a rough patch – “I need to buy a better bike.”
Alex when he lost his balance at the parking lot and he felt like his leg was about to break from supporting the bike to prevent it from falling on its side – “I need to balance this, i can’t have the bike scratched.”
And bikers will understand …
A blog I wrote last year after my mom died.
I dreamt of two hummingbirds the other night. I have never seen one but in my dream I clearly knew they were hummingbirds. One was red and the other was blue. And when it started whirling its wings, spots of yellow appeared on their bodies. They were whirling about two colorful flowers, which kind I forgot. I remember thinking I had to take a photo of this but I didn’t have a cellphone with me.
This is the first time I have dreamt of hummingbirds. It wasn’t a bad dream. It wasn’t scary. But neither was it happy. I looked up hummingbirds in dreams and read that these birds could mean indecision or flightiness.
I also dream of elevators a lot. It is always me wanting to go to my hotel room and the elevator not stopping at my floor. More often than not it would go up. And always in my elevator dreams, these elevators would travel sideways too, at tremendous speed. In my dreams there is a slight panic, more frustration at why I can’t stop at my floor. There is no anger, there is no fear.
Lately though I haven’t dreamt of elevators.
The same book says that elevators could mean a shifting of a person’s status; whether social or intellectual. Sometimes it is a shifting of a person’s mindset.
The meanings do make sense. But more importantly in these dreams, I concentrate on how I feel. So far they haven’t been troubling. Just a bit puzzling.