We test rode a Ducati Diavel the other day.
I was ok with Bruni the wife. She’s a comfy ride. I asked O, why another ride? O turned lyrical. He was spouting words like soul and excitement and curvaceousness. I raised my eyebrows. He said it’s the difference between exquisite food where you are content with a few because the few fills you up with the headiness of the taste and experience and food where it’s just food to gorge on, to fill up, to feel full until the next meal.
Bruni, the German Amazon
You understand what I’m trying to say? O asks me. I nod. I know exactly what you mean.
I have my sturdy shoes for work. Sensible shoes I wear almost everyday. And I have my Phillip Lim shoes that I reserve for special occasions. Not that it’s uncomfortable. On the contrary, my Phillip Lim shoes are so comfortable I could walk about for 3 hours as I negotiate a cocktail party. Sometimes I would look at these shoes in my closet and admire the lines. And it makes me happy. And the only reason I don’t wear them more often is that I do not want to scuff those shoes overly or dirty the soles too much. No extra points in guessing where the sensible shoes are.
I understand O’s desire all too well.
And there you have it. Wife can’t be too sensible. Wife has to offer something more to capture a man’s heart and soul. Well, of course these are motorcycles so it’s a world where the mistress and the wife can live amicably.
Living in a catholic country there are certain life situations that are frowned upon. Mistresses for one. Then again, America is not a catholic country and over there having a mistress is such a deal breaker. At least living together without the benefit of marriage is ok. Anyway, scratch that catholic part.
I myself have no violent reactions regarding the other woman. Even for O. As long as the other woman is not a gold digger and knows where her place is in relation to the legitimate family. However, this was all in the realm of theory in the past. The last few months however, I have had many opportunities to interact with known other women.
I was a bit reserved when first I was in their company. But as I got to know each of them better, they are quite nice and fun. The important part for me I think, is that the men acknowledge them and stand by them.
But what of the wife? The jury is still out for my opinion on that one. I do not favor one over the other but in the end it will have to depend on who I knew first. And it is the men that I knew first. And these men are with the non-wives most of the time. It is a big factor that their men support them and do not hide them. I figured several years back that any decision that is backed up and defended and supported will eventually become acceptable. You just have to be strong enough to stand by your choices and to accept the initial negative comments and reactions. I believe that in the end, if one is steadfast, opinion will turn to his favor. If not positive then at least acceptance.
I do know several wives whose husbands had extra curricular activities. While I know them better than I know their husbands, I still could not condemn the husbands. When they talk about their pains and heartaches over their husbands’ betrayals, the best I could do was to nod my head in sympathy and sometimes tell them to live their own lives separate of their husbands. I could not bring myself to put down their husbands nor the other women.
Maybe if the other woman was like the mistress of a local politician who recently died, I would have a negative reaction. This particular mistress appropriated the politician’s body to the exclusion of the legal wife. And she gave out interviews telling everyone that she was the wife because they were living together and that she didn’t need a piece of paper to legitimize their love. And she denigrated the legal wife saying that the legal wife no longer had any right to the politician. Well that left a very bad taste in my mouth. That time, I did condemn the other woman. Thankfully that other woman is no longer in the news. She was so crass. She deserved to be pilloried in the press.
Otherwise, morality is different for me now. Things are no longer black or white. Many people are askance over that belief. But that is how I have evolved over the years. It may not be the norm but that is how it is for me. I don’t force those beliefs on others, don’t let others force their beliefs on me.
And I thought that since this branch was now running smoothly that we could let them be. But no, I guess things will never stay the same for long. New problems are sure to crop up.
Nothing major, just some minor issues that needed to be clarified. Like a home that needs minor repairs every once so often. I used to wonder how is it that a house deteriorated so much quicker if uninhabited. The minor clean-ups and routine check-ups certainly contribute to a longer problem-free living.
Like everything in life. Our health, love relationships, family relationships, business, careers. I have to remind myself that nothing can be taken for granted. Just because things are ok now doesn’t mean it will be ok forever. I can never be complacent.
I was reading the daily papers when I come across this ad for kitchen appliances. I was struck by the sexist angle of the ad. The father and the son are in casual comfortable clothing but the woman, presumably the mother (?) is fully made up, in a party dress and very high heels!
I was just struck with the incongruity of this photo. But I guess these ad people know what they’re doing. A pretty woman can sell a product.
Meeting old female acquaintances of the auntie kind recently, I got a common reaction. “Oh, you’re prettier now; whiter.” I counted 7 in the past week. Its a double edged compliment.
I rather like being tan. In fact I always resist my pseudo-dermatologist whenever she pushes me to try their skin whitening treatment. She tells me I’m weird in that I don’t want to be white. Weirder yet when I tell her I need my callouses for dancing when she sells me their foot scrubs. Yup, I guess I am different.
What is it with being white anyway? I just laugh it off and make a joke. I always tell them I have less time under the sun now. Secretly I don’t tell them that I find being white so ordinary. Being tan is healthier looking.
I found a photo from 3 years ago. I think I look the same. I don’t know with these aunties. White for them is equivalent to beautiful.
I haven’t been inspired to write the past 3 days, so I thought I’d post from an old entry from my diary:
Watching the Iron Chef made my mouth water. Their secret ingredient was ginger and by the time the show was over, I asked O if he wanted to do some cooking tonight. He liked the idea so off we went to the supermarket to buy steak.
O planned to season the porterhouse steak with salt, pepper and chopped ginger. Then we also prepared saffron rice and grilled some cherry tomatoes seasoned with olive oil and oregano.
Oh, it was scrumptious. Delicious, Yummy. Even the kids gobbled up the tomatoes. Perfect.
My soul and stomach were full today. I was reading The Alchemist again and I could feel my soul lighten. It sounds weird but that was how it felt. Like I had no weight on my shoulders. Short of being angelic, I actually felt positive. Positive as in kind and gracious and loving. Cheesy.
This morning as I was looking at my closet, deciding what to wear, a feeling that I seem to have forgotten something came to me. It took a few minutes as I ran through the past few days, then I suddenly remembered that we had forgotten our wedding anniversary!
I turned around at O, who was behind me, and accusingly told him he forgot our anniversary. He was non-plussed. He pointed out that I forgot too, so we’re even.
Sigh. Terrible. We are such unromantics. Anyway, I thought back to what we did last Tuesday. Nada. We stayed at home. Corny.
Well on our way to middle-aged living. Here’s hoping that we won’t forget our 20th year in 2 years.
A male college friend is in town and BFF Pin and I met college friend for lunch. My husband O joined us too.
It is always good to meet old friends. Especially as living in a small town like where Pin and I live, there is a dearth of interesting conversation.
Anyway, it was a very fun lunch conversation. College friend, let’s call him R, was quite candid in telling us that his marriage almost ended when his wife found out he had a girlfriend on the side. Wife kicked him out but eventually asked him back after a year or two. And R actually thought long and hard if he wanted to go back to his wife. We peppered him with questions of the who and whys and hows of the affair (s) to which he was quite open about.
His revelation didn’t really faze me. In fact, Pin and I would’ve asked more questions and encouraged him if O were not around. Unlike Pin and me, O is rather conservative in his views on fidelity and marriage. Personally I don’t judge how my friends conduct their marriages or their relationships. They may be lotharios or adulterers, they will still be my friends. And the other party (say the wife or the girlfriend) will still be not my friend. You can see where my loyalties lie.
Anyway, as to the title … it came up when I recounted how a male classmate inquired about another male classmate from my home town. So he asks ” How is XYfriend? Is he happily married?” That stumped me. Well, yes he is married and he does seem happy. We did have a good laugh over that, whether it was intentionally phrased or just a slip of the tongue.
But college friend R has a different take on that. He says his definition of happily married is that a man is married and his wife is happy. Just the wife.
Before and after photos of damage near the epicenter of earthquake.
Makes it harder to send relief goods to those in need.
It’s a good thing today is a holiday and all schools are closed. Most businesses closed too. Another good thing, it happened before 9. Before the malls opened and so less people were out and about. The above photo is a university in Cebu City.
*photos lifted from various social media sites*
I’ve lived with earthquakes all my life. Nothing major though. It is so common that I can usually guess the magnitude, give or take .5 points as soon as it happens. And in my city, nothing beyond 4 usually.
Except for 2 years ago. It was at least a 4.5 and it lasted almost a minute. A minute is quite long and a 4.5 is considered strong enough to cause cracks in some buildings. I was in the office when it happened. Desks were visibly moving sideways – that is one thing about the earthquakes here too, they’re always sideways. One time I was in another city when I experienced an earthquake that was moving up and down. The galvanized iron sheets for roofing were flapping up and down and I was bouncing a bit on my seat. But that was just for a few seconds. But I digress.
2 years ago, that was the strongest earthquake I had personally felt. While our city was spared, the city across the island incurred heavy damages. And all our employees were left homeless. Electricity was down. Water was not flowing from the taps, roads were impassable, communication was down. We were able to send relief goods to our employees only on the following day when the military had cleared the roads and set up alternate routes and because of this experience, we now have a disaster plan in place for all other branches.
This morning another strong earthquake struck. I was at home and our chandeliers were swinging like crazy and the crystal balls clinking quite loudly. The front door was rattling loudly too and I got dizzy from the shaking. Almost a minute. I estimate another 4.5 or maybe even a 4.7. Afterwards you could see the water in our neighbour’s pond, sloshing around wildly.
Never have we had two strong earthquakes in such a short span. Minor earthquakes yes, every year or so but strong earthquakes were rare. Anyway, I immediately directed personnel to call all branches. Only one could not be contacted. The epicenter. Reports are coming in. Almost all houses are damaged. At least all employees are safe.
This is bad. While the epicenter is in a different island from the last one, the fact that such a strong quake; they’re saying a 7.3, so soon after the last big one is sending a scary message. Is the earth getting unstable?
Ah gee, life is indeed unpredictable. Mother nature is unpredictable. I’m still a bit woozy from the shaking earlier this morning.