No Judgements

Living in a catholic country there are certain life situations that are frowned upon.   Mistresses for one.  Then again, America is not a catholic country and over there having a mistress is such a deal breaker.  At least living together without the benefit of marriage is ok.  Anyway, scratch that catholic part.

I myself have no violent reactions regarding the other woman.  Even for O.  As long as the other woman is not a gold digger and knows where her place is in relation to the legitimate family.  However, this was all in the realm of theory in the past.  The last few months however, I have had many opportunities to interact with known other women. 

I was a bit reserved when first I was in their company.  But as I got to know each of them better, they are quite nice and fun.  The important part for me I think, is that the men acknowledge them and stand by them. 

But what of the wife?  The jury is still out for my opinion on that one.   I do not favor one over the other but in the end it will have to depend on who I knew first.  And it is the men that I knew first.  And these men are with the non-wives most of the time.   It is  a big factor that their men support them and do not hide them.  I figured several years back that any decision that is backed up and defended and supported will eventually become acceptable.  You just have to be strong enough to stand by your choices and to accept the initial negative comments and reactions.  I believe that in the end, if one is steadfast, opinion will turn to his favor.  If not positive then at least acceptance.

I do know several wives whose husbands had extra curricular activities.  While I know them better than I know their husbands, I still could not condemn the husbands.  When they talk about their pains and heartaches over their husbands’ betrayals, the best I could do was to nod my head in sympathy and sometimes tell them to live their own lives separate of their husbands.  I could not bring myself to put down their husbands nor the other women. 

Maybe if the other woman was like the mistress of a local politician who recently died, I would have a negative reaction.  This particular mistress appropriated the politician’s body to the exclusion of the legal wife.  And she gave out interviews telling everyone that she was the wife because they were living together and that she didn’t need a piece of paper to legitimize their love.  And she denigrated the legal wife saying that the legal wife no longer had any right to the politician.  Well that left a very bad taste in my mouth.  That time, I did condemn the other woman.  Thankfully that other woman is no longer in the news.  She was so crass.  She deserved to be pilloried in the press.

Otherwise, morality is different for me now.  Things are no longer black or white.  Many people are askance over that belief.  But that is how I have evolved over the years.  It may not be the norm but that is how it is for me.  I don’t force those beliefs on others, don’t let others force their beliefs on me.


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