An acquaintance of my mom’s was here a while back.  After the purpose of her visit was concluded, she made small talk.  She talked about my mom and how it’s too bad she wasn’t able to get to know my mom better.  She mentioned how it was so sad how my mom passed on. 

I was, during this time, just humoring her since I really do not know her.  And then she winds up the small talk by telling me, but it’s ok.  I’m sure she’s in a good place and she won’t have to suffer anymore.  Well.  I raised my eybrows to that.  Being a well-bred lady, I nodded and agreed with her.  And tried to wrap up the small talk as quickly as possible.

Why do most people presume that we want to hold on to a dying loved one?  Why should they presume that we didn’t want to let our mom go?  Maybe that is how THEY would feel and they presume that other people are like them.

I for one do not think that life in this world is all that great.  It is not worth hanging on to.  If it’s my time, it’s my time.  Some people would call me heartless but my mom’s death was accepted.  There was no wailing, no denial.  My mother had always impressed on us that family members who cry and wail as one lays dying is what delays the soul’s release.   We released our mother to the new world with some sadness but we knew that it is her destiny and we will not make it difficult for her soul to move on.  We encouraged her to move on, to not worry about us.  It was peaceful.

Just last night I dreamt of my mom.  We were in a hair salon and she smiled when I came in.  She asked me what I was up to.  I still do miss her sometimes but dreams like this where she is smiling and in a good mood cheer me up.

Platitudes.  Sometimes they rankle me.  I’m just glad that I rarely am in the receiving end.


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