Is This What I Want?

For more than10 years now, I have had this desire to enroll in a Masters program or a short term course in one of the premier business school in our country. But their schedules required me to be out of town for quite some time; several months at least.

Every time I saw their ad, I would look longingly.

Last year, a friend’s husband was telling us about this program in my alma mater that was results based and required his presence in the classroom only every other weekend except for the first month. I could do that, I thought. It was not the same school but my alma mater has a reputation just as good.

I let two batches pass before i finally moved my butt to submit an application. The funny thing is, while I was sending my application, I was hoping they would reject me. I threw obstacles their way. I submitted a crappy resume. I downplayed our business size (one of the requirements for this course was that one has to have an actual running business of which the applicant was in the top management). I told them I was not willing to change my flight schedule when they tried to move my interview. I also informed them I would be absent for the third week of classes. At the back of my mind I was thinking that if it’s meant to be, it will be so.

And what do you know, they adjusted the interviewer’s schedule in order that my original interview date would push through. They said I could bring home reading materials on my scheduled absence. And the crappy resume although meriting a comment from the interviewer was set aside.

And so i wonder if I made the right choice? Will I be able to handle this extra responsibility? Will I miss my downtime at home? Will I go crazy? What am I getting myself into?

But everything seems to be cooperating for me to push through with this. My only consolation is that it is only 18months. That’s not too long.

I Take Back What I Said

I agreed with a friend when she said that not for her the drama of passionate love; that she preferred a partner who she is comfortable with and who makes her laugh and who gives her space.  I agreed with her but not wholeheartedly.  My mind agreed with her but deep down my heart protested.

The more people of my age group agreed with my friend’s outlook, the more I was troubled.  The other night O and I were talking.  Nothing specific in particular but we touched on a rather wide range of topic and we talked about “settling” down.  

There are many occasions when my head and my heart are not in agreement but my head usually has an upper hand.  Although as I get older, my heart gets a peep in the decision-making more often than not.  Sometimes a decision is not particularly rational but because it makes me feel good, the decision pushes through.  So far, there have been no regrets.

O never believes in a comfortable relationship.  He wants a relationship that will stoke his passions.  

I guess that was what bothered me the whole time.  Because even as my head agreed with my friends, my heart still wanted a relationship where passion, though not ever present, would at least rear its dramatic head once in a while.  Whenever O and I settle in a comfortable level, I get bored.  It’s good that he has new interests that interest me too.  The possibility of an accident every time we ride always perks me up.  More often than not, the sight of his dimple still makes me melt.  Those things make me feel alive.  Call me crazy, but I realized after that talk with O, that despite what I should strive for at my age – I will turn the other way.

If I should commit, it would be with someone that stirs my heart and can evince shortness of breath on my end.  I want to laugh boisterously not just to smile.  I want to feel sad once in a while.  I want magic in my life.  I want colors.  I don’t need to be comfortable all the time if I can have different feelings in the time my partner and I are together.

So, yes, I take back what I said.  I am happy for my friend because she has found contentment.  But it is not for me.

Putting Along

After a hiatus of 15 years, I was back on a scooter again. The first time I fell down as I was negotiating a U-turn, and never rode again.

Lately however, I don’t know what got into me. We had a second hand scooter in the store and I took it home to practice. Riding pillion is different since husband is really a great handler and I feel so secure behind him. Plus I don’t feel much wind since he blocks most of everything including the front view.

It’s day 4 of my practice. I am so far more confident with the throttle although I sometimes twist it when I am in a slight panic while negotiating a turn. But so far so good.  No spills, no stalling. I still can’t ride straight though.  I weave a bit.  And I’m still riding inside the gated housing community. Tomorrow I will go out for a short ride around a block or two. A bit excited.

It can feel a bit heady with the exhaust noise and the wind blowing across my face. But when I am on the go, it is fun. Exhilirating.

I don’t think I will ever graduate to a bigger displacement though. This 125 Fuel Injected scooter is just right. Although, maybe someday, I might be able to handle a real bike with manual transmission. 🙂 That will be the day.

Imageslowly putting along at 15 to 20 kph

Facebook Photos

I found out there are other reasons why people take photos of themselves in public places.

Last night I went out with husband’s high school classmates. One of them insisted we have our group picture taken. So one classmate took out his mobile/camera. After photos were taken, the requester told the camera owner to make sure to upload the photos to Facebook where they are friends.

I thought nothing of the whole thing until one of them joked that the requester wanted the photos on Facebook so that his alibi to his wife will check out.

Guffaws all around and the usual boisterous guy teasings.

Aha! But whether this man goes straight home after the get together is another story.

When the New dislodges the Old

Last April during our vacation, I was able to buy several dresses to update my wardrobe. I rarely buy clothes when not on vacation.

The funny thing is, all my dresses were ok before I bought new ones. But the minute I started wearing the new purchases, the old dresses seemed to age quickly. And I started finding fault with how it fit me and how it looked. In fact I discarded 3 or 4 already.

Hmmm, there seems to be a lesson here.

Some relationships can be analogies. One man who has a new girl seems to be energized these past few days. Earlier this year when his two relationships overlapped, he seemed to not be as attentive to his old girl. Looked serious a whole lot of time too. Now he looks different. His demeanor is lighter and sunnier.

Then again I have dresses that I can’t bear to discard. Clothes that are very comfy and do not look at all dated. So here, people should learn a lesson. People should pattern themselves like classic goods that will last through the ages. A product that is of good quality, that does not break down often, that is comfortable and easy to use, that will look good the longer you use it … This product will not be discarded even if new, shinier products are out in the market.

I guess though if one thinks he is not that highly made, the best defense to not being discarded is to stop the other person from having the opportunity to see the many choices out there.

Then again that doesn’t sound like a solution at all.

Saturday night

Alone in Manila, staying right across my alma mater, I didn’t feel like having a fancy dinner. I was craving for fast food. So I started walking, see which restaurant would catch my fancy.

I ended up at 7-11. I saw their microwave dinners. The baked chicken looked delicious. I got that one and a bottle of Mirinda. My bill came to Peso96 (usd2.20). I borrowed the newspaper from the hotel lobby and had a relaxing meal in my room. Surprisingly the baked chicken was tasty, juicy and tender.

Several minutes of surfing and then I decided to seek out dessert. I walked in the opposite direction from 7-11 and came to a shop selling artisan ice cream. Sounds interesting. I order vanilla bean, one scoop on a cone. My bill came to P100 ( usd2.30). Gee, my ice cream is more expensive than my dinner plus drinks.

No matter, it balances out. And the ice cream was good. Yummy. Tomorrow I go home.

At Home

It’s a holiday tomorrow and here we are, at home.  O is watching tv.  I read some magazines before turning to the internet to update all our mileage accounts.  Then checked on Facebook and wordpress.  Drank some margarita and ate peanuts.

I nudged O, why don’t you do something, I asked him.  He got up, went to the kitchen and got a piece of banana and peanut butter.  He drank a bit of my margarita.  We talked a bit, he touched me a bit, then he plopped back to his rocking chair and continued with his tv thing.  I asked him if we were going out for some dessert.  Where do you want to go?  he asks me.  I don’t know, I tell him.  Never mind, i add.  We’ll just stay home.

Well, we are a certified old married couple.  

Sunday Ride

O and me in our 1200 together with Benj in his 800 did a short ride to the mountains of Don Salvador Benedicto yesterday. We left early at 7am. We enjoy the roads here. The town has great twisties (some almost 180degrees in different levels) and good roads and few traffic. And somewhere up in the mountains is a regular roadside haunt; Virgie’s. Because the owner’s name is Virgie.

ImageThe view from Virgie’s.

We had breakfast up in the cool air at 8:30am. The food is really good and inexpensive. Very rustic. Both guys had local coffee and “ibos” – a sweet sticky rice dessert that one pairs with brown sugar. We got hard boiled eggs too and chicken soup and “adobo” – braised meat in soy sauce. It was a good morning. Very relaxing.

Image Adobo.

 

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Very simple breakfast in rustic surroundings.  Ibos is the one wrapped in banana leaves.

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We bought two bunches of Señorita bananas from Virgie’s.  About 65cents US dollars per bunch.  Everything is inexpensive in the mountains.  We did not haggle and even paid extra.  

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And the local transport passes us by as we were getting ready to go back to the city after breakfast.  The water buffalo was too quick for my camera.  I wanted to take his photo as he passed by our motorcycles.

 

Aborted

Our flight home from Manila had two aborted landings before being diverted to a neighboring island.

It didn’t help that my seat mate kept on praying audibly; alternately clasping her hands in prayer or putting her hand to her heart.  When she lifted both her hands to beseech a higher power, that’s when I decided I was going to transfer seats.  Good thing the row of seats across was empty.

I wasn’t scared or anything but her demeanor affected me.  I don’t know if she was afraid but whatever she was feeling was palpable and it was not positive and it was very disturbing.

It was a very bumpy descent.  I was hoping the clouds would clear but the landing gear was down and still I could not see the ground.  I had never been in a flight with an aborted landing so I did not expect one.  I did worry if we would land.  15 minutes after the gears came down and we still had not landed, I knew something was wrong.  The pilot comes on and announces that we had aborted a landing due to bad weather.  We were going for another try.  It was very bumpy and I was starting to feel nauseous.  O, me and eldest son were seated separately.  

If we were going to crash, I would be away from them.  I looked at the back of O’s head.  I turned to the row behind me to look at eldest son.  Oh well, if it’s our time, it’s our time.  I settled back in my seat and tried to ignore my praying seat mate.  A thought did occur to me that dying would not be so bad but this air turbulence was bad.  And there was no discomfort bag in my seat pocket.  I quickly rummaged through my bag for anything that I could puke in.  That’s the thing I don’t like.  You’re going to crash and you have to go through this nauseating feeling.  Yuck.

The second try was not going well.  The clouds were still thick even as I heard the landing gears deploy a second time.  Down, down we went.  Still no sight of the ground.  Suddenly I felt the nose of the plane go up.  Aah, the plane was climbing.  Another aborted landing.

I was thinking we were probably going to land in another airport.  I wondered which city.  I wondered if the airline would give us free hotel stays.  I debated whether to take the bus home or take another flight from the diverted landing.

Then the pilot comes on again to announce the second aborted landing due to very bad weather and that we would be diverted to Cebu City (a city 20minutes away by plane from home).  As we climbed up to cruising speed, I could see the clouds disappearing.  I took the opportunity to transfer.  I felt so much better away from my seat mate.

As we landed in clear Cebu, the atmosphere surprisingly was not one of panic.  The pilot announces that we would be refueling before going back home when the weather clears.  I thought they would let us deplane, but no, we stayed onboard.  Everyone started to get up to use the bathroom.  Once that was out of the way, the atmosphere was quite lively.  Most everyone was joking.  Strangers started to talk to each other.  Well except for the praying seat mate.  I did not attempt to talk to her and she didn’t attempt to engage other people in conversation.

Water was passed around – certainly helped the mood.  4 people requested to deplane and not continue on to our original destination.  They were accommodated.  There were good natured jokes about them wanting to visit the casino in Cebu City.  

After 30minutes or so, the plane was done with refueling and we were back on the air.  This time around, the landing was good.  Visibility 8km.  I could clearly see the ground.  I knew we would be landing soon.

That was a very interesting flight.  There was actually no panic on my part.  In fact, I was quite ready to go while we were on a roller coaster ride during our descent but I guess it’s not my time.  

I am glad that our pilot had our safety in mind when he decided to abort the landing.  Other passengers were telling the story of how another airline had 3 aborted landings before landing on the 4th try.  Some were applauding the fact that the pilot of the other airline was very gung-ho but hearing them compare the two airlines, I am glad I am with the airline I chose.  I would rather the hassle of a delay when our safety is on the table than putting lives at risk just to keep a schedule.

It Finally Ended

They did have 15 years together.  I remember the first time I learned that the man left his wife to be with this woman.  It was big news then.  When I saw the woman, I was disappointed.  She was not that pretty.

But well, you never know with these things.

And only recently did I learn that the wife was fierce.  So maybe the man was looking for somebody to pamper him, somebody who would look up to him.

Eventually people accepted their relationship.  Girlfriend became de-facto wife.  And I thought it would last.

I wonder if there was a third party on the part of the man.  The girlfriend is silent all of a sudden on Facebook.  And to think she was still posting about love and how she is feeling happy and blessed this past month.

One really never knows with these things.  It is how it is.  The purpose of the relationship has run its course.