You are one of the top personnel of a successful company. Many outsiders attribute the success of the company to you. You start to chafe at the company policies being implemented. You believe in yourself. You know you can succeed on your own. So you quit.

But no financier will back your idea. And many competitors will not touch you, seeing your actions in quitting the company abruptly as dangerous. None in the industry will deal with you.

So what use is independence if nobody recognizes it except your family and immediate circle of friends? What use is independence if society ignores your declaration? And if you persist, down the line, who will trade with you? Who will establish relations with you? How will you survive?

Following a dream is heady but following a dream without being realistic – I don’t understand. I am being practical. How will this autonomous government who longs to be independent and has in fact declared independence survive without the acceptance, recognition and support of the region where they are located? If the big businesses move away from its territory, their tax collections will be affected. Which financial institution will accept their bonds and guarantees knowing at any time the territory could be dissolved?

I understand people have dreams and desires but I am practical and survival trumps the fulfillment of airy goals for me. If I choose to live with humanity, then I must adapt to its rules.

The First Thought

And we thought that the Visayas Bikers’ Unity Ride went without a hitch. This morning the last group on their way home met an accident. One of their riders hit a small bike making a left turn in the highway. Rider and his wife were injured. The motorcycle sustained major damage.

And as biker was coherent enough to talk, the first thing out of his mouth “How’s the bike? What’s the damage?” And three more questions pertaining to the bike. And then he remembers his wife -“How’s the wife?” Upon being told that she was ok and had only cuts and bruises, his thoughts revert to his bike and accessories. He worried about his helmet and his Xena (communicator). Of 10 questions he asked before being wheeled into the hospital, 9 were about his bike.

It is as expected. We biker wives understand that.

Rider had a broken clavicle but on the whole, they are ok. They are still lucky it was nothing major. And he had just taken an OD insurance and put in crash bars.

One Sided

How come I haven’t seen memes about sons finding wives who will support and respect them? All that I have read is about parents praying that their daughters find a man who will treasure and respect them. And articles about rearing boys to grow up to be men who will respect their partners.

As mother to 3 boys, I find it all one-sided. Especially as a cousin bewailed how her daughters in law run roughshod over her well mannered boys. She told me that having good boys will mean you will lose them to daughters in law. It would have been ok if daughters in law took care of cousin, but no. Daughters in law are still very close to their own mothers and cousin does not feel the love from these daughters in law. Wala nang daughters-in-law, unti unti pang nawawala ang sons.

We raise our boys to be respectful and supportive of their wives but are the girls being raised to be supportive of their husbands too? Daw one-sided haw?

I remember what the comelec chairman’s mother in law said: (paraphrasing) Andy was the son in law I prayed for. Everything that I hoped for my daughter. 

So there you go, you pray that your daughter finds a gentleman who has principles, character, who will love your daughter and support her ideas, who will respect her person etc etc. But did you train your daughter to be the kind of wife too who will have principles and character, who will love her husband and support his ideas, who will respect her husband’s person etc etc? It works both ways.

Maybe my boys shouldn’t be too nice.

I Don’t Think I Should Worry Too Much

Well, what do you know … the baby of the family is not that baby anymore. He actually is starting to be responsible and able to think for himself. And here I was worrying when he’d be more mature. And when I wasn’t looking he surprised me.

It started with his application essay. I thought I would have to make a lot of corrections, but no – it was well written with just enough touch of “bola” to make the intended party smile.

And then he had sense enough to ask permission from his teachers for him to wear crocs since he had a toe infection. Without me telling him.

And now, papa O is away and he successfully turns on the genset despite the wrong instructions I gave him. He ignored what I said and did it his way. 

Well, what can I say. Nothing but smile