In the end I had to remember that my children are adults now and that as long as their choices were sound, then i have to step back.
I did that with first born. Now second born wants to study in Japan. I wanted him to enroll at one of the premier universities in Tokyo. He was ok with a technical school in Kyoto. First because he doesn’t like Tokyo. Second because the technical school had good reviews and fit his requirements. And why did i want him to go to this university? Simply because of the prestige. And the people he could meet while in that university. Shallow i know.
So what really was important? That he could be fluent in Nihonggo. That he could immerse himself in the Japanese culture. And his choice could deliver those 2 requirements. So in the end, I let him be. His undergraduate university is prestige enough for me. No need to add another.
This is how it should be as a parent.